Do You Know What You Want Or Why You Want It?

When I was a professional Life Coach the biggest problem I had with clients was getting them to name what they truly wanted?
It was so frustrating. 
Very often people would reel off endless list of what they didn't want but couldn't name what they actually wanted, or hid the subject under generalisations like, I need more confidence.

As any Life Coach reading this will know, the resistance in being able to name what you really want can simply be down to plain old fear. 

People are afraid to name what they want because they think they're not going to be able to achieve it, 'so why name it?' they wrongly think.

Helping people get over this self imposed wall is a tough ask but it is possible.

That's why a lot of coaches have exercises like the 3 magic wishes, 
What would you do if you were granted 3 magic wishes right now and they could only be about your life?
This often helped the client start naming a few things they would really like in their life and then after a bit of discussion the subject would grow more far reaching.

After a general list of dreams had been assembled the next thing I always pointed out was that anything we want in life is only ever for one simple reason and that is:

To feel better.

Sometimes clients would argue with me, "No I need more money to pay the bills" or "I deserve that promotion, I work hard and deserve that recognition"

But the simple fact is ultimately, whatever you want to achieve in life, is to alter the way you feel about yourself and/or your life in general.

This realisation can really liberate you, if you allow it. 

You want more money to pay the bills so you can feel safe and stop worrying.
You want that promotion to feel the recognition for all your hard work. 
You want a partner to give love to and to feel loved in return.

The great thing about understanding that everything we want is to help us change the way we feel inside, is the fact that we can change that in an instant. 

You don't necessarily need the promotion at work when you can recognise yourself how hard you have worked and allow yourself to feel the emotion of a job well done and to feel proud of yourself.
You don't need a partner immediately when you realise everyday that you are loved by friends and family around you and you feel love for all of them in return.

The reason for clients naming what they want is to make them realise mostly 'whatever you can name, you can claim' and you can start straight away, before the real dream has even manifested, just by analysing the feeling behind the dream and then to gently evoke those feelings in everyday life straight away. 

You don't have to wait.

So remember:
Name what you want.
Why do you want it? 
How will it make you feel?
Where in your life now are those feelings already present?
Start feeling those feelings now - In your mind, everyday.

It's amazing when clients applied this formula, just how many got results in life and without much effort on their part at all - The effort seemed to be in the practise of evoking the feelings, then the manifestations just appeared. 

(Law of Attraction at its best).


  1. I think life coaches merely get a kick out of advising people, and telling them how to live. It's not as "benevolent" a practice as one may deem it to be.

  2. I had a bad experience with a life coach. I found out that he wasn't actually a certified life coach.. So be careful with.. I end up paying more than 4000 euros ($5000) and I got more confused... thank you to Philippe Rouffiac the worst life coach.

  3. What a great post that you have shared here. You make information effortless for us that we get good facts about it. Thanks for this informative blog. Christian Life Coach in Los Angeles


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