Rihanna and Relationships
Recently, my husband and I went to see Rihanna in concert. This was a present for his 50th birthday. Albeit a late one, as he turns 51 in a week.
It was booked last year when it was impossible to even share a drink together as our son was so ill.
We also booked to stay over night in a nearby hotel whilst my brother and his wife took care of our kids. We hadn’t been away on own for about 5 years, and we hadn’t even been out on our own for a couple of years.
I was really looking forward to it until a friend of mine remarked “Aren’t you worried about how you two will get on? I mean its not as if you’ve had a proper relationship for the last few years, you’ve just been parents, I bet you’ll have nothing to talk about, do you even have anything in common anymore?”
I hadn’t even thought about it and of course she was right - we had been completely engrossed in caring for our children in our own cancer bubble world.
Days and weeks had often gone by when we had shared nothing except the latest update from the doctors and what load of washing needed to go on next, whilst we had fleetingly swapped ‘shift’ in front of the hospital. My husband and I had taken turns in staying with our son – some of the longest 12 hours of my life were spent in those tiny side rooms. Very nice to be away from the potential infections from the ward, but still very lonely.
There are research documents into the effects of marriage with parents of children with cancer. – What a waste of time !!!
Of course we have seen cancer parents split up, it’s very sad but not really shocking – any relationship would struggle under those conditions – underlying cracks in the relationship are simply amplified by the stress.
But surely no relationship is perfect – there are times when I look at my husband and I think ‘wow you’re simply wonderful’ and other times when I think ‘gosh – you really are quite a prat’
As I'm sure he does with me.
Who’s to say what a proper relationship is? Or decide what’s good or bad? Who are these authors and experts that think they can solve other people’s relationship problems with a set of ‘rules’ what helped them (or not, as the case maybe)
Do – enjoy each others company and have fun whenever possible
Don’t – listen to anyone outside the marriage.
If it’s not broken don’t fix it – especially to someone else’s standards.
We went to the concert. We share history, children and a cheeky sense of humour. I enjoyed my husbands company immensely – even after years of stress, terror and pain, we fell straight back into just having fun – spirits untarnished.
Just be your own relationship expert. x
P.S. Rihanna you rock !! - Here’s a few pictures of the concert and yes I know I need a new camera!