The First Weekend Away Alone.

We've been a very close little family I realise when I look back. 
Kev and I never left the kids at all when they were small (which was only yesterday by the way).

Bloody hell, I've turned into my Nan "life will pass you by in a flash, you mark my words" she'd say repeatedly.
Well I didn't Nan, and you were right, it sure did.

We'd had only one night away without the children. Yes, I know its absolutely ridiculous but it was never intended to be that way, we were always going to plan something but life got in the way, what with work etc.
Brett's long illness and numerous hospital stays meant we were split up from each other a lot but we were always with one of the children. I'd leave the Brett at the hospital to go and spend some time with Poppy. 
The only person I rarely saw was Kev. We literally spent months without being in the same house together at the same time. 

People used to ask us 'How did we do it? How did our marriage survive?' 
Truth is we never really thought about our marriage, we didn't have that luxury to think about us as a couple or about ourselves as individuals. 

You don't matter that much when your child is life threateningly sick or dies.

So this week, as my husband was off from work, we decided to go and have our first weekend away without the kids. 
Well, Brett was free to join us any time he wanted but we wouldn't actually have know he was there unless a psychic told us and the remaining living child didn't want to come and offered to have the two dogs so we could go away unencumbered.

It was quite a nerve wracking prospect. 

Just me and Kev !?! 

Next year we celebrate 25 years of marriage and since the children came along (first one was 9 months after the wedding) we have only had one overnight stay in a hotel just the two of us.

Bloody hell, questions were flying around my head, 
What would we talk about? 
What if he was boring? 
What if I was boring? 

I enjoy doing 'fun' things as much as I enjoy drinking Arsenic. 
My fun muscle has collapsed and withered away.

What would we do?  Do you go on the beach as a couple or does that make you look odd? 
I never really noticed random couples on the beach but then I never really noticed anything as I was always busy (I was normally so busy when the kids were little that I often never had chance to look at the sea let alone at the people around me).

We could go to bars and have drinks but these days 2 maybe 3 drinks and I'm ready for bed and sleep, loud snoring sleep. That's a buzz kill.

And by not taking the dogs that meant we could go everywhere, no restrictions or limitations, that was a brain blower as well. Every cafe, restaurant, and shop was accessible to us now. 

Blimey, that seemed to make a whole host of decisions even harder, such as 'Where do you want to go eat for dinner? the world was our oyster literally. 
We both just looked at each other hoping the other one would suggest something. (I dunno maybe I just felt safer with limitations.)

In the end it all turned out perfectly. 

We sat outside a very swish wine bar (which we'd never been able to do before) and simply enjoyed the sun going down over the marina whilst watching the world go by. 
Then we went for dinner in a fancy Indian restaurant during which I only had to kick Kev once under the table when he said "How much?" rather too loudly. 
Yes Dear, not take away prices now.

Its nice to have to look down at a menu to order food rather than have to look up.  

The next day we did go on the beach and enjoyed the sunshine whilst wistfully looking out to sea with a nice coffee in hand, which upon purchasing at the little kiosk had caused me to go this time "How much ? What? I want a cup not the jar"

Although I think we both enjoyed 'people watching' best. 
We were both trying to hide our sniggering at a seriously stressed out young couple with 2 very small children, They were bitching and criticising each other whilst all the time falsely smiling to the children, they seemed simply over whelmed and too stressed. Yes, been there and done that. 

I found I had to fight a very strong urge to go over to them and tell them to calm down and enjoy it more. Children are only small for a little while and you don't know what tomorrow can bring. But I thought I'd better not, its quite a weird thing to do. So instead I sent it as a silent wish for them.

Then, when their hugely over loaded pushchair fell over as the child that was balancing it, got out, I realised that happened to us only yesterday too. 

Well, that's how it feels, doesn't it Nan.


Popular Posts