I'm Back and There's a Book.

Hello it's been a while, How have you all been?

Life's not been too wonderful for me as my lovely Son,Brett died on the 30th December 2013.

I'm not going to lie, its been a struggle since, but well, I think I'll just leave it there for now.

I have written a book about it all, a book about a 'Death of a loved one', how super cheery!
"Yes" I hear you all cry "that will be perfect for holiday reading".

Well, OK, maybe not holiday reading.
It will be perfect for anyone who wants to read it but first, I have to get it published.

Last Monday there were big celebrations in the house as I announced I'd finally finished the book. Hooray!! everyone cried, followed by frantic wine bottle opening and the happy sound of clinking glasses.

Truth be told, I don't know if I'll ever really finish the book because every time I read it I change something, a little word here, some phrasing there. I'm a perfectionist and I keep re-reading the damn book and tweaking it, its driving me quite insane. I love my book and at the very same time I equally hate it. My opinion of it ranges from it being quite superb and wonderful to its just plain bloody awful.

My lack of self confidence hit a new height, (or should that be a new low?) this week when I started shopping around for Literary Agents. I'm not actually sure where I left my self confidence, it may be in a hospital waiting area in one of the children's hospitals which treated Brett. (Should anyone find it please could they return it to me asap, I would be eternally grateful).

Whilst upon first perusal there does appear to be a lot of willing and eager agents I don't feel there's enough to fill my personal requirements. You hear all these stories about writers receiving tons of rejection letters before finally being 'found' but I don't think it would take too many "No's" before I'd have ran out of agents.

Oh bloody hell!
Then its not just a case of simply sending your book to them (although they don't except posted manuscripts anymore they insist on email submissions now) They also want a book proposal and the synopsis.(Whats the difference? Oh crumbs)
A lot of agents want your CV as well as the proposal and synopsis which might get me straight on the "No" pile as I haven't worked since Brett was diagnosed with his child cancer in 2008.

The needs and wants vary from agent to agent, some also want almost an essay about who's your competition in the genre, book stores and whats your marketing hook?
Long story short (excuse the pun), I haven't got the foggiest notion what most of it is. I mean, what is a marketing hook and why would I want one? Sounds rather painful.

So there is obviously going to be a lot more research (googling) required before I even send my manuscript off and sadly, the next time we are drinking wine whilst celebrating the book seems along way off, if ever.


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