You Don't Have To - Actually Yes You Do

Years ago, I became a facilitator of a very good personal development course which was aimed at people from very difficult backgrounds. 
These people were from areas in desperate need of regeneration, they were mostly very poor and not stereotypically high achievers.
The course was offered free of charge and was built around areas of self esteem, self worth and ultimately goal setting.
It was, and is, a brilliant course from a wonderful worldwide organisation.


I had one sticking point on the course and that was with a unit based around the premise of 'you don't have to do anything you don't want to'

And although the unit was about trying to free peoples mind away from the concept of 'Having to' to 'wanting to' I thought it was wrong and my experience over the last few years has brought me to the place of 'knowing' its wrong.

I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend and a mum.

Its the later job role that has made me so sure the unit is wrong.

Personal development is about, mainly, the ability to refrain and adjust the self imposed parameters of our lives. 
Nothing is set in stone unless we think it is and we need to 'think outside the box' to experience true freedom and live our lives to the maximum.

Very true and the concept of not 'having to do anything you don't want to' is about that personal freedom. 
For example:
You don't have to pay the gas bill - but don't expect the gas company to keep supplying if you don't pay
Do you want Gas to your home? 
Yes? 
then you don't HAVE to pay them, you WANT to

You don't HAVE to go to work - 
Do you want money every month? 
Yes? 
then you don't HAVE to go to work you WANT to.

Thats the concept but I just don't buy it.

I don't want to go to a hospital and watch my son and all the other children with cancer suffer so terribly in the way that they do, but I have to. 
I bought that child into this world and I HAVE to be by his side.

I don't want to see him cry in pain
I don't want to have spent the last 5 years with people I often don't like (some cancer parents and some staff)
I don't want to attend beautiful children's funerals

No one can tell me I have a honest choice in witnessing the awful things I see everyday. 

Do you know of any parent that would chose to leave their child upon a cancer diagnosis?

I don't want to do what I do, I have to.
And I'm only watching!!

To really prove the point - Do those very children and teeenagers I see daily with cancer, HAVE to go through absolute hell to try and live or do they Want to?

What's the difference? - 'It's just frightening and it hurts real 
bad' 
Is their answer.

Positive spin has its uses but in this case, I find it just down right annoying, patronising and pius Bull Shit.

Want to, Have to - it's just words.
  

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