Forgiveness, not likely

I have fallen at the feet of another spiritual mountain and I really can't see myself getting over this one in the very near future.

The subject is forgiveness.
Yes I know in concept its cleansing of the soul, its loving to forgive your self and others. 
If God can forgive then surely you can?

In a word, No.

I find it impossible to forgive.
Some say we are on this earth plain to learn lessons, well in that case someone doing us down or hurting us must be a lesson.
Part of the lesson can't be our ability to forgive them?

Oh for the love of walnuts...it just cant be.

I'm a really nice person I would do anything for anyone but if you hurt me or someone I love, if you try and get one over on me, try and make a fool out of me and I will make you pay.
I will get you back one day - rest assured.

I will turn all kind of Mafia on your ass.

By the way I don't mean I will kill you, no that's to traceable ha ha
No I will just ensure you don't get your promotion or your new house "aah did you mortgage fall through, what a shame" 
I do have some friends left in high places. Granted not many but a few.

Its who I am - I thought being spiritual was all about finding yourself?
Well hello, one thing I definitely know about myself is that I'm good at revenge.

Think of all those sayings we have:
keep your friends close and your enemies closer, an eye for a eye, revenge is a dish best served cold, he who laughs last - laughs longer

What is there in favour of forgiveness - turn the other cheek
Is that it? its 2012, is that all you've got?