Making peace with relapse

So the cancers back and flying around brett's body as we speak.
Doctors are quickly trying to find the best course of treatment for him bearing in mind how allergic he got last time.
He is on the emergency list for a central line tomorrow and has to have a platelet transfusion at 6 am tomorrow morning so he doesn't bleed out in theatre.
He had a big allergic reaction last time he had platelets so I sit here with 2 choices.
I could scream cry shout or silently panic myself silly
I can choice to believe 'what will be will be'
I have chosen the latter.

For the last nearly 4 years I have 'managed' our cancer path.
I have researched leukaemia and it's treatments from all around the world. I have fought many doctors, many times. I have researched treatment side effects and ways to ease them both conventionally and unconventionally.

This time is different.
Because I believe he is in the right hospital with the right team around him, who know him and his case in depth.

I don't have to fight.
I have to trust, i have to support my son and to believe it'll all be ok.

Life doesn't have to be perfect to find a tiny bit of peace.


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