Childs Cancer is back

We've met some very special people along the way during my sons cancer treatment.
3 1/2 years is a long time you're bound to meet a lot of people.2 children in particular we are close too.

Found out recently one of them has their cancer back for the 3rd time after 2 years all clear.

Found out this morning, via texts from her mum, 

what dreadfully procedures she's going through AGAIN
lots of painful surgery AGAIN
living with all that fear AGAIN
having that huge fight to live AGAIN

I'm so desperately sad and wondering what is it all about? AGAIN.

I was just starting to come back to life. 

I had noticed some nice possessions that would have been cool to own, I had started thinking about a bigger house, newer car and foreign holidays.
Its all a crock of shit isn't it?? 
Nothing matters except happiness and that's free isn't it? 

Now I find myself flung back into cancer wards. Not physically but emotionally and mentally.

I am the visitor not the visited, very strange.

We will visit and paint big smiles on our faces, we will take helium balloons, any food fancied at that time, we will take cuddly toys and anything that looks remotely fun. We will leave the awkward questions for texting later and not speak serious in front of the child and we will walk out after visiting time feeling dreadful for them all.

That poor little girl, that poor family, the sheer pain they are going through.......

I wish them so much - Health, happiness and normality.


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