Fat Rebellion

Why do diets make us all so miserable?
For me, it's because I normally have to eat food that I don't like.

I like meat, but not in excess - one cow at a time please. 

Fruit and vegetables are nice but not in endless boring quantities and I like water but I am tired of trying to drink a lake everyday. 

It's nice to go to a club with other sweet fatties but I get confused when I’m asked if I've had a 'bad' or 'good' week.

"Well, let me see, I didn't bitch slap my friend when she made snidey remark and I continue to love my children even though at times they really don't deserve it".

"Oh..I'm sorry you meant food wise...whats good?" 

"well if you've lost a 1-2lb of weight" says the ex-fatty

"Oh sweetie I could have, but I have more water in my system that the local reservoir - That reminds me, I need to pee before I'm weighed"

So bored am I that I have decided to rebel.

Let's just get happy and I think the weight will sort itself out.

And think of all the things I could do with the time I will have when I don't have to work out my meals G.I. index or acid/alkaline levels?

People, if I had wanted to become a scientist , I would have.

And if these diets are so good, why are we all getting fatter?

And sadder?

People of the world unite and let's escape this tyranny together.

Throw out the diet books, ditch the scales, clean the kitchen of measuring spoons and weighing scales. No more will we eat cold food because it took us half and hour to measure it out whilst checking the foods point/sin value.

Lets get happy with ourselves first, lets eat until were full and only eat what we want.

Lets find exercise that's fun and frolic in the fields of our personal contentment.

We are not 'bad' because we're overweight, were 'bad' because we allow ourselves to be defined by a waist measurement.