Free Life Coaching Tip No 3 - Happiness is a choice

I know that this tip will come as a shock to some people and positively annoy others, but here's the deal:

You cannot expect the world to align or act in a certain way to enable you to feel happy.

I have coached hundreds of people in this understanding. The only person who is completely powerful enough to make you happy ...is you!
You cannot expect your boss to do it, you cannot expect your husband, children, parents to do it. Nobody has the power to make you happy nor unhappy.

We as a society put way too much expectation on people and things around us to bring us joy.

Think about it for a moment. If you are seeking happiness or joy and expecting to gain that from an outside influence you are looking in the wrong place. Happiness and joy are only found within you.

By passing the emphases of your happiness to anything outside of you, you are putting pressure on a person or object to come up with the goods. Or another way of putting it is: you are expecting a certain behaviour or outcome to have to happen a certain way to enable you to feel happy.

Can you see how stupid and futile this thinking is?

You don't need your husband to buy you flowers to prove he loves you
You don't need your children to behaviour in a certain way to please you (which is just as well because that ain't gonna happen)

You don't need a constant stream of new clothes to make you feel worthy enough, how much is enough anyway?
You don't need the promotion at work to prove to the world you are brilliant.

You don't need anything to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is a mangled wreak in today's society.

Happiness is simple............ it's a conscious choice.

You don't need to wait for happiness to come into your life and you certainly don't have to go look for it.

Now you know I'm not saying that every event in your life will make you happy - Please remember I'm a cancer mother.

When the doctor told us our son was dieing and the only thing to save him was an experiment I don't remember jumping for sheer joy and doing a cartwheel. I was devastated (understatement).
I was heart broken, but when that energy rose inside of me and screamed "the fight is on" I didn't have to wait x amount of years until the outcome had happened for me to feel better.

In fact I would have gone crazy if I had waited.We found happiness along the way in very simple acts like watching a funny show on TV together, playing Monopoly with the sick bucket next to him, looking up at the sky now and then.

Just ask yourself 'where do I find happiness, what makes me happy?' and if the answers come from anything outside of you just be aware that you can't control anything outside of you.

Be careful what you're letting have the power of your happiness.

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